B.R. Black

Thriller and Horror writer

Author: B.R. Black

  • A Change of Seasons

    I think it’s shows real growth when you’re ready to say, I’m done.

    Since 2021, with the start of Kindle Vella, I’ve been haphazardly posting my horror serial, Wound, with the weird name and ensemble cast, I kind of fell in love with this bunch of rascals and tried to throw as much mayhem their way as I could think of.

    Over time it’s become apparent that my love has not been shared.

    Not necessarily because of a defect in my story, writing, or characters–though those things certainly exist–but because I was never consistent nor persistent enough to find traction on the platform and I allowed myself to go through waves of discouragement instead of putting my head down and plowing through.

    It didn’t help that every time I went to the main Vella page I always saw the same one or two stories sitting atop the #1 spot.

    I’ve already written about my issues with the platform, but I’m not suggesting that that’s the reason Wound never really found an audience. That lies mostly with me (I say mostly because no matter how much advertising or consistent posting I could muster, people’s choices are out of my hands). So, in the desire to move forward to other projects, I’m ending Wound at the end of Season three.

    I know, I know. I can sense your disappointment.

    I’m disappointed, too, but I have found that I don’t have the energy to sustain 25 additional episodes after this fall. Seventy five is a good number to go out on.

    Will there be more adventures for Paul, Carol, and Bev? Will Blake ever fully realize his power? Where’s Darlene? I’m prepared to answer (most) of those questions, if anyone’s asking.

    I reserve the right head back to Franklin, Wyoming at some further date, because we all know, the dead aren’t always dead.

    Stay tuned to hear about my next project(s) – a revamp of my other Kindle Vella series and a new thriller novella series.

  • Welcome to National NaNoWriMo Comment Month or NaNaNoWriMoCoMo

    Nobody’s been asking for my opinion about the recent NaNoWriMo controversy. That’s less about not having anything useful to say, but more about no one knowing who I am. That’s fine. But…here we go.

    I have never won a NaNoWriMo in all the years that I was a participant. I would create an account, try, try another time, try again. And then I would delete the account and later–in the interest of a ‘clean slate’– create a new one.

    I’m not great at becoming part of a larger community (I know I have to work on this) so the other perks about being part of the NaNoWriMo world we’re not something that were part of my writing life.

    There are lot of ways their AI statement could’ve gone and I think it’s interesting that they were able to pick the absolute worst way to go. The thing about being part of a community is understanding where the community is.

    Now, there are loud voices in the writing community, particularly in the independent writing community, that are very AI-positive and while people can have their own takes on controversial topics, I do think that history will bear out that this is the wrong side. I felt this way when important voices in the independent community were very NFT-positive. NFTs aren’t all that popular anymore.

    I have my own skepticism when it comes to AI, but the one thing I will never, ever, compromise on is the idea that creative endeavors are driven by the human mind.

    Programming is creative but algorithms are not human, nor human-like. LLMS and AI are born of a human mind, but are not even remotely like a human mind.

    Why? Cause we really have scant knowledge about how the human mind works. We have good schemata about how we build knowledge and language and culture, but those are only reflections of what the mind produces, not the actual creation of the mind.

    But I had this discussion with someone else they said, “well, what about the calculator?” The calculator is reposonding to input is responding to process that the human can do, albeit slowly. The outcome of the calculation will be no different no matter who inputted the information. The machine uses the same function with identical input.

    I wish I’d had that answer then. But I was less elegant.

    What we see in ‘generative’ AI is mimicry. It is the imitation of creative choice. It bases its output on probable responses compared to what it has digested. You could argue that this is what the human mine does, but the human mind brings with it a conglomeration of stimuli and responses and baggage and emotions and feelings that all influence each choice.

    We do not create a bubble.

    We are constantly influenced by our environment and that influence isn’t mimicry. It’s aversion. It’s delight. It’s disgust. It’s misunderstanding. We are bound and defined by our mistakes just as much as our successes. If we created things based on a percentage of probability a likelihood of this combination occurring previously, then everything is derivative.

    A ‘logical’ person would say that all things are derivative. That person is in denial of their emotional brain. They are in denial of the squirmy, squiggly, squeamish parts of us that influence all of our choices.

    NaNoWriMo is a large organization with lots of influence in the writing community and therefore had an obligation. They had a goddamn obligation to prioritize the writer, the writer that made them who they are, the writer to whom they cater, and the writer that keeps them going.

    If you no longer prioritize the human writers, you were no longer serving your community, and you deserve to be abandoned.

  • What to do? What to do?

    I fully resonated with Sarah’s post, “When You Realize You Don’t Want to be a Writer After All.” I’ve gone back and forth over the years thinking that if I really wanted to be a writer, then I wouldn’t have any issue pursuing my goals.

    But that’s not how it works.

    The writing world is full of stories of the writer who’d written their whole life and never wanted to be anything else. Not all of us are struck with such certainty at a young age.

    Many of us have to put the desire aside for pragmatic reasons. Or self-doubt forces us to ignore our feelings and go for a safer route.

    We all travel different paths as we approach the page, and each one is as valid and important as the words you write.

    Doubt, declare, then get back to work. We’re all waiting for what you’ll write next.

  • The Long Game

    I’m more of a completionist than a loyalist and my time on the Kindle Vella platform reinforces that idea. I’ve not had a lot of traction there, since I don’t write spicy romance. Also, my vampires (aside from Paul) aren’t all that sexy and really could use a good killing, not kissing.

    So, while I believe there is a healthy horror library of stories on there, I don’t seem to be part of it. And that’s OKAY!

    I will still be publishing the last two seasons of Wound on Vella first.

    It’s about completing the task and while it’s not necessarily the best thing for me to be focusing on now (with all the other projects I’m juggling), it feels good to be with these characters and make their lives horrible.

    My goal is to end Season 4 right around Halloween this year. That will be the end of the story.

    I’ll take two months off (to work on other things) and then revise all four seasons into novellas and then releasing them with a bonus prequel – Season 0.

    Don’t ask me what happens there, it’s full of secrets.

    I’m not sure what to do with the “Extras” so far. When I get a hint of back story, or side story, that compels me, I’ll write a short piece and then put it aside.

    One of the stories is about Mrs. Collins separation from her husband. The other is a nice story about the twins. The Collins family intrigues me since it’s so different from my own.

    Anyway, I’ll let you know if any other tidbits come to mind. I’m writing this blog post while episode 6 cooks in the back of my brain oven.

    In the meantime, episode 5 is written and will be uploaded later today.

    You can also follow my writing progress on NaNoWriMo.

    *swish* (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃━⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

  • What in tarnation is going on?

    I’m working my way through the third season of Wound when something unexpected happened.

    I can’t tell you what it is because spoilers, but it threw me for a loop.

    I was sitting comfortably at a nice table with a view of the beautiful day outside. I’d done my chores and eased into Episode 4. This is a Paul chapter, and it’s been a while since I’ve written in his voice. It took me a while to get back into his head and I have to admit, I struggled.

    Part of me wonders (at least now, as I write this I wonder) if that struggle is what caused the unexpected. Did my brain say “Hey! You’re just not feeling this guy today. What if this and this happened?”

    Maybe, I’m not sure. I know that when I sat down to write, I didn’t think that was going to happen. Then it happened. What a world.

    I’m just as shocked as you are.

    Writing was a little slower than usual today. Normally I just sprint away at the keys and try not to back track for spelling mistakes. Part of the trick is to just look down at the keys as I type. I can touch type, but I get too wrapped up in how the words look on the page instead of writing the next word. Whether I look or not, there will be spelling mistakes, but I’m much faster if I watch the keyboard.

    Typing with my eyes closed works too, or looking, really, at anything else besides the screen. If I stop reading as I’m writing, the writing gets faster. Is this just me? Anyway…

    The writing wasn’t difficult today, but deliberate. It felt like I was spending time with each sentence, making sure it was right.

    I don’t know if it’s right. I’ll find out tomorrow when I edit and post the episode. But for now, let’s just say, Paul’s in a situation.

    *swish* (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃━⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿