B.R. Black

Thriller and Horror writer

Tag: writing community

  • A Change of Seasons

    I think it’s shows real growth when you’re ready to say, I’m done.

    Since 2021, with the start of Kindle Vella, I’ve been haphazardly posting my horror serial, Wound, with the weird name and ensemble cast, I kind of fell in love with this bunch of rascals and tried to throw as much mayhem their way as I could think of.

    Over time it’s become apparent that my love has not been shared.

    Not necessarily because of a defect in my story, writing, or characters–though those things certainly exist–but because I was never consistent nor persistent enough to find traction on the platform and I allowed myself to go through waves of discouragement instead of putting my head down and plowing through.

    It didn’t help that every time I went to the main Vella page I always saw the same one or two stories sitting atop the #1 spot.

    I’ve already written about my issues with the platform, but I’m not suggesting that that’s the reason Wound never really found an audience. That lies mostly with me (I say mostly because no matter how much advertising or consistent posting I could muster, people’s choices are out of my hands). So, in the desire to move forward to other projects, I’m ending Wound at the end of Season three.

    I know, I know. I can sense your disappointment.

    I’m disappointed, too, but I have found that I don’t have the energy to sustain 25 additional episodes after this fall. Seventy five is a good number to go out on.

    Will there be more adventures for Paul, Carol, and Bev? Will Blake ever fully realize his power? Where’s Darlene? I’m prepared to answer (most) of those questions, if anyone’s asking.

    I reserve the right head back to Franklin, Wyoming at some further date, because we all know, the dead aren’t always dead.

    Stay tuned to hear about my next project(s) – a revamp of my other Kindle Vella series and a new thriller novella series.

  • Welcome to National NaNoWriMo Comment Month or NaNaNoWriMoCoMo

    Nobody’s been asking for my opinion about the recent NaNoWriMo controversy. That’s less about not having anything useful to say, but more about no one knowing who I am. That’s fine. But…here we go.

    I have never won a NaNoWriMo in all the years that I was a participant. I would create an account, try, try another time, try again. And then I would delete the account and later–in the interest of a ‘clean slate’– create a new one.

    I’m not great at becoming part of a larger community (I know I have to work on this) so the other perks about being part of the NaNoWriMo world we’re not something that were part of my writing life.

    There are lot of ways their AI statement could’ve gone and I think it’s interesting that they were able to pick the absolute worst way to go. The thing about being part of a community is understanding where the community is.

    Now, there are loud voices in the writing community, particularly in the independent writing community, that are very AI-positive and while people can have their own takes on controversial topics, I do think that history will bear out that this is the wrong side. I felt this way when important voices in the independent community were very NFT-positive. NFTs aren’t all that popular anymore.

    I have my own skepticism when it comes to AI, but the one thing I will never, ever, compromise on is the idea that creative endeavors are driven by the human mind.

    Programming is creative but algorithms are not human, nor human-like. LLMS and AI are born of a human mind, but are not even remotely like a human mind.

    Why? Cause we really have scant knowledge about how the human mind works. We have good schemata about how we build knowledge and language and culture, but those are only reflections of what the mind produces, not the actual creation of the mind.

    But I had this discussion with someone else they said, “well, what about the calculator?” The calculator is reposonding to input is responding to process that the human can do, albeit slowly. The outcome of the calculation will be no different no matter who inputted the information. The machine uses the same function with identical input.

    I wish I’d had that answer then. But I was less elegant.

    What we see in ‘generative’ AI is mimicry. It is the imitation of creative choice. It bases its output on probable responses compared to what it has digested. You could argue that this is what the human mine does, but the human mind brings with it a conglomeration of stimuli and responses and baggage and emotions and feelings that all influence each choice.

    We do not create a bubble.

    We are constantly influenced by our environment and that influence isn’t mimicry. It’s aversion. It’s delight. It’s disgust. It’s misunderstanding. We are bound and defined by our mistakes just as much as our successes. If we created things based on a percentage of probability a likelihood of this combination occurring previously, then everything is derivative.

    A ‘logical’ person would say that all things are derivative. That person is in denial of their emotional brain. They are in denial of the squirmy, squiggly, squeamish parts of us that influence all of our choices.

    NaNoWriMo is a large organization with lots of influence in the writing community and therefore had an obligation. They had a goddamn obligation to prioritize the writer, the writer that made them who they are, the writer to whom they cater, and the writer that keeps them going.

    If you no longer prioritize the human writers, you were no longer serving your community, and you deserve to be abandoned.

  • What to do? What to do?

    I fully resonated with Sarah’s post, “When You Realize You Don’t Want to be a Writer After All.” I’ve gone back and forth over the years thinking that if I really wanted to be a writer, then I wouldn’t have any issue pursuing my goals.

    But that’s not how it works.

    The writing world is full of stories of the writer who’d written their whole life and never wanted to be anything else. Not all of us are struck with such certainty at a young age.

    Many of us have to put the desire aside for pragmatic reasons. Or self-doubt forces us to ignore our feelings and go for a safer route.

    We all travel different paths as we approach the page, and each one is as valid and important as the words you write.

    Doubt, declare, then get back to work. We’re all waiting for what you’ll write next.

  • The struggle to write consistently

    Something I’ve talked about before is my issues with consistency. Mainly, I will have long stretches where I will distance myself from a story and then, whether pressure, guilt, or a newly ignited desire to finish the piece rises up in my gut, I come back to the keyboard and go, “where they heck was I now?”

    I’ve had this with each Season of Wound. What started out in 2021 as an experiment to see if I could consistently write and publish a horror serial on the at-then-new Kindle Vella platform quickly ended when I discovered, no, I cannot consistently write and publish a horror serial.

    Or anything at all.

    My whole life has been a push and pull between half-finished works and new ideas and, from the sheer amount of reading I’ve done about other writers’ processes, this isn’t’ unusual. When I was finally diagnosed with ADHD, this seemed to be a feature and not (necessarily) a personality flaw. So, in the year since my diagnosis and treatment, what have I learned?

    Not much? I still struggle with shiny object syndrome, object impermanence, and distraction. BUT I have realized that if I start – literally just start writing a sentence, the rest will come. It may be slow, sloggy, weird, and not quite what I want to say, but it does come.

    I also am starting to understand what my triggers are and doing better at avoided them (particular voices or sounds).

    My goal for the second half of this year is not a writing goal, but a working goal. I aim to strengthen whatever skills I need to work fully remote (my day job lends itself to this), to make the effort twice a day to start that sentence, and – most importantly – work on being able to come back to the page immediately after a distraction.

    I know what I’ve tried before, systems, apps, web sites, etc. But this time I’m going to try bull-headed determination. RAWR!

    Do you have a secret sauce to being consistent in anything? I’d love some advice!

    *swish* (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃━⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

    Banner by B.R. Black | Background image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

  • It’s OK to be anti-social

    I’ve run across a few articles that permit writers to not tackle social media, well, at all really, and it’s given me a bit of breathing room. For years, all the advice was about building an audience and having a mailing list, and while I think we can all agree that those things can help you become financially successful as an author, I’m not sure how much help they can be for the actual writing.

    A writing community, one that offers encouragement and support, is really useful, even for an introvert like myself. I have a few writer friends who I share pain and problems with, particularly the problem of getting started. We all seem to have great advice for each other, but then never seem to get around to taking it ourselves.

    However, the draw of finding or creating an online community through social media has always felt daunting. In my real life, I started on Twitter while I was still heavily involved in the tech world and was able to build a bit of a community around that area. But, over the years, as my job and focus changed, I found it challenging to start over (with my pen name) and build a similar group of like-minded people. Starting from nothing was a lot of work (adding a second pen name into the mix and I was overwhelmed).

    Won’t someone like me?

    I also tried engaging in conversations, but found crickets most time, even when I felt like my take was, if not hot then at least kind of warm. This isn’t sour grapes, but more of a lack of desire to always be online. The persistent performance was unattractive to me, and, most importantly, the lack of interaction left me unmotivated to write.

    If I couldn’t get followers on Instagram, who would ever read my stories?

    I even entered February intending to post on Instagram every single day to see if being consistent would help me increase engagement. When I missed yesterday, I was disappointed. It ruined my morning when I realized my mistake.

    But why? I hadn’t announced it. No one was looking for my posts. The only promise I broke was one to myself and one made without much seriousness, to be honest. I know me better than anyone else.

    Rejecting rejection

    So this morning I came to my task list, the one that breaks my projects down into bite-sized pieces and makes it appear manageable. I highlighted “29 days of social media” and hit DELETE. Buh-Bye.

    I immediately started writing this blog post. Not because I needed to vent frustration, but because that simple click released any negative feelings I had about the trial and failure of it all. I am writing this to give you permission to just write.

    Write a 500-word blog post and quickly, shortly, with little time investment, promote that instead. The blog post will be much more useful to you than a social media post done for marketing purposes. The blog post can help you tell yourself more about who you are as a writer.

    And, more importantly, will help others give themselves permission to just write. 

    *swish* (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃━⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿

    Image by 29458918 from Pixabay